The Goletsyn move
by Marjorie Nescio
Summary: Set before PD1, a Canadian director feels attracted to a certain Genovian lady. Will he pinch her?


This story is set before PD1. The main characters are not mine, they belong to Meg Cabot and Disney.

~The Goletsyn move~

The Canadian director Wladimyr Goletsyn attended the French première of his latest film. At the party afterwards, the mayor of Paris made a gesture towards the film poster (_The Unlikely Postman_, the fourth movie by Wladimyr Goletsyn) and she said: ´You should go to Genovia, Monsieur. Since your leading character eats a pear each time he's killed someone, he can turn a mass-murderer in Genovia in part two.´

It needed some explanation that Genovia's most well known export product was the pear. When Goletsyn heard that the country was beautiful, its cities ancient and charming and that its capital would host a film festival in a month's time, he felt he just _had_ to go there. He owed it to postman Lee, his favourite character so far, who winked at him from his huge poster, a blood stained knife in one hand and a cut pear in the other.

OoOoOoO

It took him quite some effort to get an invitation for the annual Genovian festival. The PR women, Anita, was delighted when he announced he liked to come, but said she could only do her best.

Goletsyn's Postman received good reviews and made a lot of money. He felt there _had_ to be a sequel and his mind was set on that sequel being filmed in fair Genovia. He could already see himself on the festival's red carpet, informing the press about his new project.

Why was it so hard to get him an invitation? How many well known directors would _possibly_ want to attend a festival in a small insignificant country?

Anita assured him that the organisation was honoured to greet him, but that he had not yet received a security clearance from the palace. At first he thought 'the palace' was the cinema, but Anita told him that the King and Queen would be attending the opening evening and that security was extensive because of that.

A Queen? He informed after her age and lost interest when he heard she was fifty-seven.

OoOoOoO

A few weeks later on he arrived at the festival. The Genovians cheered for him and die-hard fans begged for an autograph. His announcement about Postman II was received with excited screaming. He was very content with the reception and the grandeur of the cinema, something he had not expected in Pearland.

There were several journalists waiting to interview him and he missed the arrival of the King and Queen. After the opening movie, a rather good Spanish film, if you liked lots of monologues and lack of action, the festival's director, Mr Alba, came to see him. He told him that His Majesty liked to speak to him.

The Canadian wasn't surprised by the royal interest. Someone had directed his attention to the King (´Look there, the King!´) but when he had turned around to look, he'd not been impressed. A small man with a tiny moustache, what's so exciting about that?

He followed Alba and grinned when even he, a born Genovian, walked straight passed King Moustache. Never thinking he could be erring, he stopped in front of the King. The man blushed with pleasure. Goletsyn gave him a warm smile, normally reserved for a gaffer who'd done a good job.

´I'm _so_ pleased to meet you Mr Goletsyn,´ the King said.

Alba had noticed that his charge was missing and returned in time to make introductions.

´Minister, how do you do? You've met Mr Goletsyn? Mr Goletsyn, meet His Excellency Mr Dubois, the Minister of Culture. Monsieur Dubois, I have to intervene, I was taking Mr Goletsyn to His Majesty.´

´Of course, I'm sorry. Mr Goletsyn, I hope we have a chance to meet again.´

Goletsyn nodded and thanked his republican heart that he had not given in to his romantic soul by addressing Moustache as _Your Majesty_.

When he finally stood face to face with the _real_ King Rupert, he had not yet recovered from his mistake. The King, a tall, intelligent looking man, had seen his films and that made Goletsyn relax.

His Majesty had heard about the red carpet announcement.

´I was told that several Genovians offered themselves as _dead meat_?´ the King remarked with an amused smile.

´Majesty,´ Goletsyn said, ´there are always people who take many days leave to be available for a two second shot in a movie.´

He was in his element now, feeling that he and the King were the centre of attention. He could have spent the entire evening next to His Majesty, but before he knew it, PR woman Anita and an unknown man had joined their conversation and the King greeted him to walk away with the unknown man. Anita introduced him to a Mr Jean Lancie (´Call me Johnny!´).

Johnny was the producer of a TV program for teenagers. They spoke about 'Unlikely Postman' for five minutes and Goletsyn got bored, for Johnny could not be accused of being original. He looked around, even though Johnny was still talking to him. The young man was far from insulted.

´You've found one?´

´Found what?´

´You know, a woman for the Pinch - I'm Wladimyr Goletsyn move.´

Oh God, that. Well, he hadn't done it in a while.

´Frankly,´ he said, ´I haven't seen anyone...´

´Not _here_, come with me.´

Johnny walked to a bar, got them two whiskies and headed for another foyer.

´Now _here's_ a room with a view!´

There were _some_ common women, true, but there were far more pretty girls and even several beauties. The two men looked around approvingly. They were joined by Johnny's colleague Jacques who was told about the Goletsyn move.

´When _you_ pinch a woman in her ass, what does she do?´

Jacques shrugged: ´She'll hit me.´

´Right. When _Wladimyr Goletsyn_ pinches a woman, she'll raise her hand to hit him and then he says: Hello, I'm Wladimyr Goletsyn, what is your name milady?´

The colleague grinned.

´Then the woman just _swoons_,´ Johnny proudly finished.

´Works every time,´ Goletsyn added absent-mindedly. Both men followed his gaze and before they could say a word, the Canadian aimed for his target.

He had added the _what is your name milady?_ line because every woman loved to be addressed like that. But now he had spotted a _real_ lady. She was elegant. She radiated power. She was very attractive, in an ice sculpture way. Her beautifully cut blue dress was made to be unzipped by _him_, Wladimyr Goletsyn.

She talked to Mr Alba. Husky voice... The festival's director seemed surprised and even annoyed by his sudden approach. Goletsyn decided that pinching this lady was not done.

He winked at Alba and pulled the lady close, putting his right arm around her hips, caressing her left shoulder with his free hand and enjoying her cleavage. She moved her left elbow to his torso and he was about to grab her wrist to prevent her from hurting him, when someone smashed him to the ground, holding both his arms in a painful grip.

´I'm Wladimyr Goletsyn!´ he screamed while another bloke searched his body.

´Stop that idiots! Release me! Do you want my next movie to be _his first made with broken arms_?´

No one laughed at his wit.

´He's clear sir.´

A dangerous looking man dressed in black jerked him to his feet and hissed in his ear.

Goletsyn tried to free himself, but the man held him in an iron grip.

Alba wiped his brow with his handkerchief, bystanders stood open-mouthed, but the lady looked as if nothing had happened.

Both Goletsyn and his attacker addressed her.

´I was merely flirting milady, truly. Wladimyr Goletsyn would never harm someone as beautiful as you.´

´What shall I do with him Your Majesty?´

´Uh?´ Goletsyn said.

The lady gestured toward the exit.

´Teballi, take over,´ the man in black commanded.

´You're not the Queen are you?´ Goletsyn pleaded.

The lady raised an eyebrow and continued her conversation with Alba.

Teballi took hold of Goletsyn's arm and moved him out of the foyer. Goletsyn recalled what he had read about Genovia: the King was powerful. And that man dressed in black had said... He shrieked.

No one met his eyes.

´No no, you can't do that! I'm a Canadian citizen. I didn't _know_. Someone told me your Queen was fifty-seven, Jesus, how could I know!´

His screams gradually faded away and all became peaceful again. Johnny and Jacques decided not to talk about the minutes they'd spent with the creepy director. Alba was in shock for the rest of the evening and Anita figured lots of Genovians who wouldn't normally visit the festival, would now show up, to see 'the spot where it happened'.

OoOoOoO

Later on, in the Castle, King Rupert thanked the Head of Security for his adequate action. The man in black bowed his head.

´The commander of the police had a word with him and customs are informed that he is persona-non-grata. He will be guarded until he boards an aircraft to his country.´

The King nodded and kissed his wife's hand. ´Are you sure you are all right my dear?´

´Rupert _please_. Nothing happened. I am fine.´

The King retired.

When the door closed behind him, the Queen eyed her bodyguard.

´_Joseph_, what did you _say_ to him?´

´Majesty?´

´Don't try that with _me_,´ she smiled. ´He made this rather funny remark about his next film being his first made with his arms broken and then you said something to him.´

He coughed.

´Joseph?´

´I said that what _I_ had in mind was 'his first film made as an eunuch',´ he confessed.

The Queen threw her head backwards and laughed throatily.

For the first time since the incident, her Head of Security relaxed.

...

Author's note: reviewers remarked that spelling and grammar could be improved, and they were right. I replaced the contents.


End file.
